After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
