whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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