If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
