Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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