I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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