i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
