I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize