If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we're making bets on your personal life
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
