I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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