obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
