i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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