batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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