thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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