As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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