Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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