You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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