My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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