Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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