you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
