my vag is so smooth its legendary
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
