She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
