no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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