Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
