guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
