It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
