i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
