So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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