And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
