I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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