i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
