you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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