She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize