so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
