bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
