just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
