oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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