Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
