I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
