There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize