She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
