evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
high people should be assigned attendants
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
