How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
