I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
