put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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