Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
