What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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