i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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