JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
