2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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