The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize