I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
