I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
