No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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