When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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