Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize