so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You can't special order awesome
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
