im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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