My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
