Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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