How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
