theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
