I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
