im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
