The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Its about making memories worth repressing
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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