So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
