I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
