She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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