yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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