That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
