well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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