Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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