whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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