So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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