so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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