Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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