how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
