David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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