I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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